How to explain the love family, so complicated!
You don´t choose your family.
It’s just the family that touches you by destiny.
Unlike friends, Friends it is brotherly love that you choose. You choose your friends.
The family is different.
Everything works by tolerating, accepting and confronting things that you simply would not accept in other circumstances. Because it’s your father, your mother, your brother, your cousin, your grandmother, your aunt or your nephew. F A M I L Y!
But how hard it is, when you love someone so much in your whole life, feeling the real love, and in a moment of your life you finally understand, you finally realize, that person that you thought i loved you, only hated you, only feeling “stupid envy or something” (no admiration), jealousy and rage for you existence. For the simple reason because you exist オリンピック・パラリンピック 🀄🍚🇯🇵👘❤️👌🏻
I believe that a children behave in a way “evil” (Defining evil as someone who enjoys the pain and suffering of others.) Is not the fault of the children. It is the fault of parents who raise and educate them. Parents are responsible for delivering the values of loyalty, love and friendship of brother and brother, sister and sister, and not enjoy the wickedness of a child. That’s not love. Enjoy a bad behavior in a child, is something wrong. If you are an adult, you have the responsibility to teach the value of goodness and love. Love you brother, and love your sister. Not the other way around.
ONLY FOOLISH PEOPLE HAVE TO BE MEAN TO LAUGH! ONLY FOOLISH PEOPLE HAVE TO BE “EVIL” TO LAUGH!
It is complicated to have all this powerful energy of rage and frustration inside me, and try to focus on the sport without losing my peace of mind. Controlling the intensity of my training, and trying to be calm and in harmony.
To keep in control in the face of unpleasant situations, because with the family you face problems that you have to solve. And not simply eliminating someone from your life (Like friends) If not facing the problem because it is part of your family, and this is how families work.
And sometime part of family It causes you so much annoyance, so much nasty and you have to stay stoic in front of those situations (Because is you family) And sometimes you accept unjust things … just in order to be calm and nobody disturb your harmony.
In a moment of so much injustice, you need have the control, you need try to focus in your inner peace.
Why am I writing about this?
Because my younger sister back to visit to my father. And I have had the greatest patience with the kids, i have patience with my stubborn dad. But I think patience has a limit. And that limit is something that any adult person has to have.
This is my last time with Dad. I am finish my independent professional projects, finishing the industrial Architecture plans of the company i am working freelance since I reach to “La Serena” and ending everything related to my health (mental and physical)
I am gonna miiss to live with Dad, but living the last months in Chile with my best friend, or living alone again is something exciting.
I don’t want anymore stay close to my young sister!!! So many good opportunities for talk and understand what happens to us two.
My sister belongs to another tribe. Not from my own tribe!
My tribe love disney! It’s not a stupid thing to love disney. Disney teaches us to believe in love. “Disney you will be forever in my heart” My tribe love sport, and enjoy the happiness and the love of other people. MY TRIBE IS SWEET BUT SMART, IS EXTREMELY INTELLIGENT AND STRONG. AND WITH ALL THIS “INTELLIGENT” DELIVER SOMETHING BETTER TO THE WORLD.
My sister belongs to a tribe that hates me. A tribe that wants me to not exist… They are not happy with my happiness. They are happy with my madness, transforming myself into a man, Colo- Colo. A Araucanian indian boy, who does not want to deal with all this shit! or Transforming myself into an army general.
Oh my lord! 🗿👘🀄️🍶⚔️
Remember, i am not a victim of anything! I am a super strong woman, with a super strong heart ❤️️ Suffering is part of life. All people suffer for some reason. Crying and feeling pain (In your room, in tranquility, with music, or in silence), in part of our lives teaches us how to deal with evil. And be stronger. Not only physically, but also intellectually.
I don´t understand.
As nobody realizes that my sister is really a bad person with me, how I did not realize before? (Defining evil as someone who enjoys the pain and suffering of others.) She really enjoys my suffering, she laughs when i am crying. SHE IS HAPPY WHEN I SUFFER! (I would never be happy for the suffering of others, even if my worst enemy is suffering, not even so, I dont be able to feel happiness for something like that. The suffering of others will never make me happy.) She really enjoy driving me crazy. At that moment, she is better to me, the moment she despairs me, uncontrollable and makes me feel an incredible and uncontrolled HATE, at that moment she laughs, and enjoys.
And she is my sister!
The person I have to care, love and protect.
To the person I have to teach. The person who has my true love, a pure love, from my childhood.
WHY MY SISTER DESTROYED ONE OF MY NEW COLLECTION BIKINIS THAT LET HANGED IN MY BATH THE LAST NIGHT, WHY? 🎧🐚🎼❤️🍓🎨👌🏻💆🏻 It’s just a bikini. Something material. Something unimportant. I used part of my collection of old bikinis to create my art collection… so, what is the problem?
The problem is the reason that my younger sister destroyed my bikini (the last time that she came she destroyed a beautiful frame for my art collection, which I put in his room, a beautiful gift), and she laughed at me when I asked where was or why?
She wants to provoke my anger or my sadness.
SHE REALLY WANTS TO CAUSE UNRELIABLE SITUATIONS IN MY LIFE, SO THAT I AM TRANSFORM AN AGGRESSIVE PERSON (I AM SPORT WOMAN, ALL I NEED IS TO PLAY SPORTS). And i ask myself, She really likes to make me crazy?
Yes, she really want get me out of that tranquility, harmony, and autonomy that I have when i´m with myself. In this way she is a poor victim of my madness. When I speak loudly and demand an answer. And not in reverse, I was not the victim of their “stupid evil” Like when we were girls. She is the number one! She is the only daughter. I AM CRAZY! FINALLY!!!! OR DEPRESSED!!!
Well, who would not go crazy in this country, where using swords is a crime. But grabbing a fight in the dirtiest and most vulgar way, women with women, is normal. NO WAY! I WANT MY SWORDS, AND A PAPER SIGNED BEFORE A NOTARY WHO DOES NOT BLAME ME FOR CUTTING THE HEAD. YES, I AM SUPER CRAZY, I AM A SWEET PERSON IN THIS COUNTRY FULL OF WHORES.
WELL, I CONTINUED. My sister is really really really happy when I find myself in this emotional state? I don´t understand all this hate from a person that I love. Unlike when we were girls. But now i think and when I was a child, i did not think 🍓
I really always choose to cry first, because cleans the soul, and them i really try to understand. Why? In this moment where i try to understand i automatically return to my childhood, when i have to take all this hate as normal and not go crazy, and choose to feel pain. (The pain lasts only a moment, and is healing. But a person ‘s hatred lasts an eternity.)
The only difference (to my childhood) is that now i am aware of the “stupid evil” of my sister towards me, and now i am more intelligent to understand what happens, but feel pain, of course, is no something funny. The only difference is that now i think, and understand all situation…
WELL, when i was a girl and I was 10 and i lost the Olympics, or the opportunity to be an Olympic athlete was so depressed, my life did not make sense, and I had to be locked up, because my aggression “scared” my younger sister. I was crazy, aggressive and wild , for no reason! REMENBER, FOR NO REASON! Living next to a “mother fucker” literally, who played the role of father, and a mother that I did not allow myself to cry, because I had everything I wanted. Everything and more. So, they had enough money to send me on a travel to the basketball club, or the chess team. And stay as short time as possible at home. Reason for which i dedicate to travel all the time, and them i returned to the 14 years to live with my dad again ❤️️
When i was a child I did not realize all that shit life with my mom. I just wanted to be away. But my sister really enjoyed be the number one, she was the smart one (more than me. For sure. I was born to be a dancer or an athlete) and me just did not exist, because me, it a was a person aggressive and indomitable, wild, and I was to blame for being like this… there was no reason for me to be that way (A fucking boy 🏀 Who does not want anyone to bother him)
AND TODAY I RETURN TO LIVE PART OF MY CHILDHOOD. BUT ALWAYS I REFUSE TO BE A VICTIM! The things that happened, have passed and are part of the past, and serve to be better. And i´m a really strong person, sports woman, and i really have incredible strength. But now it’s the present, the present where my sister simply tells me that she can do whatever she pleases, although that hurts to me, although that does not she even do her good, her heart and her future.
And at the beginning i cared so much, because I really feel love for my sister all these years… Is my sister! My real and pure love. But is so much energy waste, that i no longer want to waste my powerful and beautiful energy on someone so bad with me, just wants to try leave me calm. But apparently she does not stay calm even if I lock myself in my room and don’t answer nothing, she really wants you not to be here, because “She is here” As it does when i’m in home in the north.
AND THIS MAKE ME CRAZY! WHY? Why she’s so annoying! Instead of enjoying my friendship. I am the big sister by holy god.
And now, that I am finishing my time with dad, that i am preparing the last details of the projects and finishing a lot of great things. WHAT DO I HAVE TO DO? Leave out of here, of course! May my sister be happy. She wants me away from her, and i don´t want problems, i don´t want confrontations. Dad is not in control of my younger sister, and she can do whatever she wants. And that means, provoke me, get angry, and laugh and make fun of me.
Yes, of course, love is always the right answer.
At really in this moment i want to hate my sister, but i can not manage to hate someone I have loved for so long. I feel love, and I suffer for it, At the same time i feel an uncontrollable energy (I hope it will help me to make higher jumps training this weekend.) like when I played basketball when I was a girl. And I just want to destroy the ball on the floor, destroy the floor or the ball, destroy the floor or the ball so strong that the whole planet hears the sound of the ball in the floor. And I become a fucking boy again, but and i’m a beautiful and sweet woman! Like when I was a girl, sweet and silly. But is impossible to live accepting this. WHY? What do these women want? I really have to be a man to be loved? Ok. I am Colo-Colo (An Indian Boy), or a general of the Roman army.
When I tried to talk to her before my trip to Mexico, in my 2015 birthday, and she talk to me, so annoying telling me that I was simply crazy because I felt so happy to have fallen in love with an athlete on the internet (Something stupid, I know!) but for me at that moment was too sensational, it was like returning to my 15 years and return to have an idol. And my sister made me spend a birthday something painful, because I had to change. Grow Up! Why? Really love is not the most important thing in the world.
She don’t love me?
Is ok for me. Love feels or does not feel.
Is something that is born of the heart.
And you can not force anyone to love another person. It’s sad but true. And living in the true is something great.
When I tried to talk to her when I came back from NY, she was not even happy to see me again (although he asked me to buy clothes when I was in NY) she refused to talk to me, and told Dad, in front of me, that she wanted me to leave north of chile, otherwise she would, and that eventually did. Why so cruel?
SHE SIMPLY WANTS ME AWAY FROM HER. In that way, she is happy. So…
I will be far from her, of course, but let her remember how far away from my beautiful life she has to stay… And when she decides come back to me, I hope she has to climb stairs so long and endless, so that she feels the pain that I feel with all her hate.
AND REMEMBER, ONLY FOOLISH PEOPLE HAVE TO BE MEAN TO LAUGH. Laughing is easy, so many funny things in this world! ❤️👌🏻
Is no easy sometime family love. Is no easy don’t love to my sister anymore, is my sister, and dad taught me to love her. Always. Because family is the most important thing. BUT MY SISTER REALLY HATES ME. WHY?
“Just because i am exist. Just because i was born before her. Just because to be a good person, happy, silly, super sweet, very smart and sometimes super stupid, who loves with all my heart to dance.”
I have a therapist… Always i have a therapist here in chile, really, or when stay in chile. Living in Chile is something complex for me. Because it is a dirty culture after military Government, the people in this country, they thought that being picky with yourself was a bad thing. That the top of the dreams was to appear on television… WHY? TELEVISION IS FULL OF STUPID PEOPLE!!! BETTER ENJOY INTERNET IS MORE FUNNY!
Here in chile you have to appear on television to be respected, although the only thing you are the stupid wife of someone famous, or just be a stupid woman looking for attention, the idea is that, be respected for appearing on television.
No thank you very much!
I have a sweet brain, which does not allow me to talk cruel stupidities, and feeling important. I say the truth in the face of people every time, I don’t pretend something fake. I am authentic and true, i am like be this way… And sometimes the truth hurts, and one has to accept that and move on, in order to achieve goals, dreams, and everything one expects from life…
And this is part of my life, my relationship with my younger sister.
But my sister has an advantage over all the “witches” in this country. She was born as my sister. I did not pretend to be my friend (When we were teenagers we were friends.) She simply was just born being my younger sister.
So she have an advantage, opportunities, and more understanding. That people who have pretended to be my friends, and have only tried to hurt me, and have enjoyed hurting me.
That’s the big difference.
So, this is family love. And family love is not always great. Especially when you have separate parents. It is much more complicated. But love heals everything. And I have beautiful people in my family who make life continue.
It is too much sincerity for a blog.
But the idea is to understand, that LOVE IS THE MOST IMPORTANT! and really love my silly dad, but I have always expected him to face these situations, be an army general, to take these situations with a voice of command.
How can I be the empress of the Roman army? And Dad could not contral to my younger sister. And I trying to become a Tibetan buddha, to concentrate my strength in training, in my practice of rhythmic gymnastics, kayaking, and running. (I really hope to give rhythmic gymnastics jumps this weekend, or just practice them. Going back to rhythmic gymnastics makes me feel so happy!)
Ok. Good night everyone. I hope you have a better reflection than mine. Maybe you make me understand something else…